Saturday, March 22, 2014

In Praise of Melanie Hamilton Wilkes


I am a huge fan of the movie "Gone With the Wind". For years, I obsessed over it. I learned how to make corsets because of this movie. I let my mom dress me in a hoop skirt for my first formal because of this movie. I lugged that 1071 page book around and could quote passages from it.  For years I wanted to be Scarlett O'Hara, after all she was the central figure in the story. Two problems with this, one, I did not have a strong female role model during this crucial time in my life, I was eleven, and two, I missed the real heroine in the story, Melanie Wilkes. 

True, Scarlett is dynamic, all the men in the county desire her, she has the smallest waist in 3 counties but she is a selfish being. It takes her until the very end of the story to realize that she needs Melanie, doesn't love Melanie's husband Ashley and see that her true love has been right in front of her for 12 years!  I'm thick but not that thick. 

How often have we wanted something that was totally wrong for us just because we had our heart set on it? As imperfect humans we tend to lean on our own understanding and make choices that we then have to suffer the consequences of. If Scarlett had actually married Ashley at the beginning of the story, I think she would have gotten over her infatuation of him very soon after the Civil War ended and they both would have been miserable ever after. Lesson learned. But no, instead he continues to be the thing she desires until the bitter end until reality in the form of the one person who has loved her all along dies.  Does she ever get Rhett Butler back? Probably not, I don't think he divorces her but he treats her with kindness. I think she finally became a better mother and a nicer person to those around her but that's it. I think she was alone the rest of her life. 

So back to Melanie, at the beginning of the story, we learn as does Scarlett, that Ashley is engaged to his cousin Melanie Hamilton. Scarlett being Scarlett can't decide what to wear for their first meeting  in the story and ascribes to Melanie her own catty personality traits. Instead, we are privy to Melanie complimenting Scarlett to her cousins about her vivacity and high spirits and pointing out that it's understandable that the men would flock to her. Later when Scarlett makes the first of her multitude of bad choices, marrying of all people Charles Hamilton, Melanie's reaction is to welcome her into the family and rejoice because they are now "true sisters". During the war, Scarlett's outrageous behavior brings down all sorts of censure and Melanie steadfastly defends her. When the wounded are brought to be nursed, Scarlett is sickened by their suffering, Melanie nurses them gladly. The only reason that Scarlett takes Melanie to Tara  during Sherman's invasion of Atlanta? She had promised Ashley to look after Melanie, if not Scarlett would have left her to her own devices and run screaming from the house. While at Tara, a deserter from the North attempts to rob the plantation and rape Scarlett. Scarlett shoots him but Melanie is willing to endanger her own life by rising from her sick bed grabbing her brother's sword to defend Scarlett when she hears the shot. She then covers for Scarlett by telling the others on the plantation who come running that Scarlett had been cleaning a gun and it went off. Scarlett is more impressed with Melanie's quick lie than she is with her willingness to defend her. 

After the war, Melanie feeds the soldiers making their way home while Scarlett begrudges them every mouthful until Melanie points out that she hopes Ashley is receiving food and help on his way home. During reconstruction, it's more of the same, Scarlett to her credit, starts a business and supports her family but her underlying motive is always to keep Ashley close. She is caught embracing Ashley by his sister and her friend, Melanie's reaction when she is told by her sister-in-law? Disbelief. She orders Ashley's sister India from the house and points out to her that she and her son would not be alive if it were not for Scarlett. 

Scarlett throughout the entire story believes that Melanie is a fool.  But is she? Melanie, is a kind soul, with no malice or guile. She is a character that is comparable to Jane Bennett in "Pride and Prejudice", she is so pure of spirit that she can conceive of only good in those she loves. She is a fierce defender of her loved ones and as Rhett Butler points out to an oblivious Scarlett, one who possesses true bravery. Her death at the end of Gone With the Wind is the most tragic death in a story full of tragic deaths. It is in this moment that Scarlett finally realizes that she loved Melanie more than her own sisters and that she depended on her quiet strength more than she realized. I like to believe that in finally learning this lesson, Scarlett spent the rest of her life trying to emulate Melanie. 

Quiet strength is not a trait that everyone possesses. Some of us are vocal in our laments about the tragedies that befall us. Some of us think that we are only strong by bullying others. I remember a particular individual I worked with that believed this. He would use his size to intimidate those of us who were smaller. I understand that in the last few years his personality had undergone a change and he was no longer a bully. If his Facebook page at the time of his recent and untimely death is any indication I have to believe he had changed.  

The reason for this post? I came across the above picture and it struck me how underrated a character Melanie is, so is Jane Bennett. Another character with that same quiet strength is Samwise Gamgee, the difference is that Jane and Sam's qualities are acknowledged by those closest to them. While thinking on Melanie and her qualities I kept thinking about this scripture:

10  Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

Most people remember the above scripture but here is the rest of it: 

11 The heart of her husband doth safelytrust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise isgood: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household areclothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it;and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread ofidleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
-Proverbs 31:10-31

So lesson learned, the character to admire? Melanie Hamilton Wilkes the unsung heroine of Gone With the Wind not Katie Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler the only thing I want to emulate from her is her ability to wear a corset and hoop skirt and not look like a walking igloo! 
Cheers,
Terri

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