Lost and Found

In 1992 my mother passed away, after suffering for years from angina, high blood pressure, and diabetes not to mention everything my brother and I put her thru raising 2 kids after my father passed away when I was 9. Of course at the time, being the selfish spoiled child I was with only 2 children of my own I could not wait to purge her from my life. Now don't get me wrong, there was plenty of fault on both sides. My mother was a difficult woman, I realized later that she loved babies and adults but didn't like children or teenagers. She was also a product of her generation, she was born into 1911 rural Mexico. Girls were second  class citizens, it was fine for them to work as a maid, nanny or cook. Everything was centered around the son in the family and the sun rose and set on mijo. To top it all off she wasn't my birth mother she was my paternal aunt and I still remembered my birth mother. The story of how and why I was adopted is a story for another time.  Girls did not go to college, they got married. Then they were supposed to have sons to carry the family name. So back to the purge. 

I got rid of quite a few things that just said mama to me, others I held onto but mostly because I had coveted them when she was still alive, namely our old wooden radio, her black wool vintage coat, a vintage dress from 1963 which I'm sorry to say now fits me, again a story for another time and her engagement ring. Hey I have issues but I'm not stupid. One of the things I got rid of was an orange, pedestal free form fruit bowl also from1963. I got rid of it because I saw that bowl every morning I lived in her house. It represented everything that was broken about our family. I once described living at home with my brother and mom as a prisoner of war camp, we were from different countries that were allies but not friends. I was the first to get liberated. So flash forward a few years, I had joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I had married into a family that although they have their quirks the love is unconditional and I had also worked on some of my geneology work for my family and taken their names to our Temple.  In doing so I learned that we are all human, we make mistakes, and Our Father in Heaven has forgiven the unforgivable in us so who are we to withhold forgiveness for others? 

In 2000, I started searching for a replacement for the bowl. It became important to me to find it again. I searched garage sales, thrift stores and antique shops. It took me 14 years but I found it! Today, John and I went to lunch in Riverside, we then went to Downtown to walk off lunch and poke around in some of the shops. The last place we went into was the 4-story antique mall. And we started on the top and worked our way down, I finally shared with my hubby my quest for the bowl and my regret in blythely giving it away. So we searched, I tried on vintage hats, we sat on sofas that needed reupholstering, we played with vintage toys, I found a vintage dress form that I would have loved to adopt but her price was a bit steep. Finally we decided to leave and I was again expressing my regret as we left the store, I happened to look to my left in the window and there in the corner was the bowl! I had missed it in my earlier walk thru. Back into the store and twelve dollars later I am now the happy owner of an orange bowl that is identical to the one I gave away. Oh happy day. 

Terri